Do you ever struggle with loss?
I am grieving the loss of my father, who passed away at the end of November, and I find myself struggling with him not being here. If you told me I would go through this emotional roller coaster due to his death, I would have said, “No, it will be ok. I am a minister, and I have walked with countless grieving families in my 42 years of ministry.”
It reminded me of a tightrope walker, where I imagine myself walking on that cable of life, with the safety net below me being my dad. It is unbelievable to me that, as a 63- year-old man, that would be the case, but the truth is, as I have seen over the last few weeks, that is the case. My father was a great provider for our family, and there were times when I called upon him out of desperation, and he helped me.
It has not made sense to me until this past week. I found myself really struggling with this loss. I could not fully articulate what was going on until I spoke with a trusted friend. Through that conversation, I realized my security had been shaken.
My friend helped me to realize that I must push into God as my eternal father, realizing that ultimately God is the only eternal safety net that is “imperishable, undefiled, and unfading” (I Peter 1:4). While I have known that since I trusted Christ at age nine, this experience of loss has moved me into a greater desire to experience God’s indwelling power. It has shown me once again that anything other than my relationship with God the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit will perish, be defiled, fade, and ultimately not survive.
I am thankful to my friend who helped me process this experience. Let me encourage you if you are dealing with loss, whether it is due to the death of a loved one, or the loss of a friendship, or the loss of something else that removes your security net out from under you, that you would find a trusted Christian friend to talk to and process.
I would encourage you to find friends you can pray with about this matter. My wife has been a constant source of prayer for me as I have shared my specific requests. It has been such a blessing to have her specifically pray for what has been troubling me.
Seek out God’s word for solace. In my case, I found myself engrossed in Psalms 139. By reading this text, I was reminded that God knows, understands, and desires to lead me in the everlasting way. This passage and others offer insight into what it means to have God as your primary source of security.
As one writer has said, you are either just coming out of a loss, in a loss, or getting ready to go through a loss. Remember these strategies. They will help you deal with loss, grow in your relationships with others, and most importantly, your relationship with the King of Kings and Lord of Lords.